Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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