Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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