Whod you bang
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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