you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
