you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
