Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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