I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
