you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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