I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
