I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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