you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
