oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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