Ambien. No doubt about it.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
