i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize