if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
