There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
