So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
