Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
