You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Pooping to opera.
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