AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It's never too late to be topless.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
