Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
