I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
