hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
