We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
