I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
