peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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