The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I looked at my own cervix.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
