lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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