My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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