this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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