So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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