ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
