if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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