If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
