Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
