if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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