Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
