You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
vagina is talking i cant
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
