The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
