Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
