I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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