she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
