I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
