theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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