I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
