she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
