For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
