another moral hangover. fuck.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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