Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
