O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
