I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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