GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
