Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
