Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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