she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
