who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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