i permit you to call me
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
