Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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