Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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