I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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