i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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