I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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