..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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